Mosaic

Mosaic ! I remember that the title was suggested for the SPJCM batch of May'2008 , of which I was a part. The name symbolized the diversity of characters in the batch. The year has passed , leaving me wiser, contemplative and Obtusely HR oriented . Everyone must have expectations before joining the course ,so did I and was sad to discover that I didn't realize the life that I was yearning for. Dissatisfaction also leaves one in a reflective mood. Happens with me all the time! One such spells made me realize that life also bears the same name and character of a mosaic , what's even more unique is that the patterns of every one's life and its colours are varied . That's what makes life interesting too. I sometimes wonder If we really have the power to alter the texture and colours of our own mosaic. People who discard element of fate say we do. I say I am not so sure.

Off late after meeting with one my school senior who also practices astrology, and introspection I realized that the majority of the colours of my mosaic are grey.... It's partly due to my tendency to procrastinate . But I really feel tiered at times, the bursts of energy that I feel are only for a very short period. I sustain them by external pressure , S.P Jain was one place where I did that . But I was not happy doing it. Satisfied , Yes! but not happy. But not being able to do what I plan to do doesn't leave me either satisfied or happy. Wish I could be able to see where my piece fits in the bigger picture created by the ONE above , so that I could figure out what the aim of my life was and Could go for it without hesitations. If I was sure we were allowed to choose our own mosaic colours I would have made an effort else it would so relaxing to move with the flow. Life my dear friends is a mystery and good that is , else it would be very predictable and predictability is boring . But few have the courage to venture into the unknown with eagerness , for me it causes concern. My attitude has been the result of the outcomes of my efforts in past , which have been a notch lower than what I aimed for.

I am still hopeful though! hope my inner voice clears my Vision and gives me the knowledge to know the difference between the things that I can change and those I can't. Efforts could thus be conserved.